where I come to complain

I am going to be expecting 2 pregnancy tests in the mail... cause we are trying to conceive again... lets all cross our fingers... 

 This Tuesday, the 8th, does anyone know what that is?? 
<br>
its the day after Labor day.
<br>
Its the day Kindergarten starts...
<br>
My son is 5 now, guess what HES doing this Tuesday...
<br>
If you guess going to school youre right!! yay!!!
<br>
hes a man now... i am no longer needed... haha
<br>
unless its to make him lunches or get him ready in the morning... wow... hes all growned up...!

 Lastnight, I had SUPER sharp pains in my tummy and back, i went pee, and this tiny little lima bean sized sac came outta my vagina, ladies and gentlemen, I had a miscarriage.

-the end-

I am drunk.

the end 

JEREMY.IS.MOVING.TO.GEORGIA. 

were married now. :-) and were also looking at houses, we found one we like which were going to look at today and we will hopefully get it!! [assuming the bank will say were good]

oh god, life is just... idk... bittersweet! 

I will be getting married... wow... ladies and gentlemen... just wow...

[no one is invited, dont feel left out]

Itll be my mom and Christopher there... and us... thats all...

just WOW...

I am a lil excited... hahaha... 

I am watching him while Megans at work. She is sleeping over afterwards... itll be cool, its the most "adult interaction" not being with Michael ive had in SO long... idk what to do...! i love it! She is at work now, but I have Gavin til she gets out, than she will be sleeping here. It is super awesome, i love babies, Michael has decided that he wants no more though, til Christopher is a lil older. It's driving him nuts how Christopher is being such a brat... hes so annoying...! BUT... its ok... i shall live...!

that is all, have to get my kid in the shower for now, than watch a movie with him...! :-)  

my period... where the eff did it go...?

is there a baby in my tummy??

we shall see on monday... [if the test is right] and if not, we will see if i dont get my period...

i cant take the excitement...

k, so for about 4 years now, people have asked me what i saw in Jeremy, and why i stayed with him for so long... im not sure WHAT i saw in him, he was just, like a puppy with no home... and he was so unwanted... even by me, but i fealt bad. We hated eachother, it was a mutual thing... we NEVER got along... ever... always argued... the sex sucked... i was just a miserable person... but he had a car... which kept me around so much longer... i could GO places... he was my bitch... i said take me here, he said ok honey... and we went... than i got pregnant, which was planned, he told me it would make our relationship better, mmmmkay, didnt happen but what ever... It made sense in a 17 year olds mind... I got pregnant ((as if no one knows)) and my mother was excited... she was happy, called my whole family and told people... I was excited to, i had a BABY in my stomach... i was GROWING a human... than as time went on he started to hit me, and rape me, and verbally abuse me, and i stayed with him, cause he had a fuggin car... a lil materialistic?? yupp... i was 17 damnit... we broke up... i moved in with Liz and her mommy and Kate... it was a good time i guess, but back to Jeremy and stuff... we were broken up, I dated around, still saw him, just not in a "relationship" with him... I dated around a lil bit, not MUCH... *counts people* 4 people i think... for a few months... the same 4 people... but i ended back up with him cause we had a baby together and i just had an attachment... than i moved outta lizs and moved to Westfield with my father, i dated a lil while i was still with Jeremy... ((oops, sorry bout that)) and still stayed with him... he got me outta my fathers house once a day for a few hours, til my father offered him beer, than i turned invisible... it was like magic... POOF... stephs gone... and than we moved back to Chicopee with my mom... Jeremy was living with my mom while all of this was happening, but w/e... I got a job at McDonalds, cause the lil boy who got me pregnant couldnt do what he thought he could... he could NOT take care of me and a child... not even close to it... i used to go into work crying with bruises all over my face, and arms... all over my body... I was abused... Michael saw this and watched me hurt all the time. I talked to him, he became my bestfriend... I fell inlove with our friendship, i loved being with him more than anything in the world... I had only seen him AT work... i called him on the phone and vice versa... but never hung out outside of work... He kept telling me to leave Jeremy, that other people liked me, and would treat me much better... I finally took his advice, took my ring off from Jeremy, told him i wasnt engaged to him anymore, i couldnt deal with the abuse... than one weekend i was going to saras for a party and invited him... knowing he doesnt drink, he never has and never will... I got a lil drunkish and molested Michael... *heh* he wouldnt have sex with me, said he had to much respect than to take advantage of me... what ever... i went back to saras a week or 2 later and he came again... this time i practically raped him, than we went back to his house at like... 2am... and yeah... we had sex... all the while Jeremy was still living with me... we were broken up but my mom wouldnt kick him out... he had no where to go... ((his parents didnt like me, and they told him if he stayed with me he had to leave *when Christopher was born*, so he did...)) so I got kicked out of my moms house cause i was dating Michael... my mother would NOT see to that being done in her home... I moved in with Michaels parents... and than back to my moms with her and Jeremy... Michaels parents were straight up psychos... oh my gosh... Jeremy and I got an apartment... still not in a relationship... but we needed eachother... DSS came in one day to the apartment... and met with me, they spoke to me, i told them what happened... they told me to leave, now... so i did... Michael had moved outta his parents house a few days after me... he moved in with his friends mom... well I moved in there too... her landlord FLIPPED... so we went back to his parents house... i went back to school in hopes of getting my GED and he was still at walmart... i messed up... i met a guy online... and almost fucked it all up... Michael almost flew to MI to kill the guy... but he didnt.. i stopped talking to him all together... ((the guy, not Michael)) I got a  job at wal-mart in march... and than in april we got our own place... no one to tell us what we can eat, or buy... no one to make more of a mess than us... its all US here... me Michael and Christophers home... no one elses... oh... and the cats... but they dont complain much... I have been doing so good with no Jeremy... and i didnt think i would EVER do good with out him... it was such a scary thought being with OUT Jeremy... but its good, Michael took me away and changed my life i guess...

mmkay, yes i realize there is NO point to this blog... but... i had to write it... cause its snowing and im excited... heh... 

yupp, i got my learners permit yesterday... a lil late in life i know, but im excited damnit...!

"I am not the president of The blue states. I Am not the presidant of the red States.. I am the president of the UNITED states of america. And together, we can change the world we live in.. YES WE CAN!"

WHAT change is he tryin to bring to us?? hes trying to pull us outta the fucking hole BUSH got us into... hes trying to get our troops home, cause so many of us miss them... hes trying to save us...

fuck everyone who has said "im leaving the country because obama"

and if you said "no he shouldnt win" because:

1- "hes muslim" learn your facts, christianity is not much different then islam and our country is based on the idea of freedom of religion even if he is muslim who cares?.. but no its ok to be just disregared everything our country is based on

2- "hes black" just straight up shoot yourself. saying he cant be president because hes black is the worst excuse ever..

3- "hes socialist" if he was a socialist, his ideas wouldnt be democratic you dumb chode nuggets. most of you probably dont even know what socialism is or how it works.


4- "hes a terrorist" along with #1. not all muslims are terrorists. only the stupid extremists which are doing the exact same thing as the extreme catholics and protestants in ireland.
and who said he was a muslim in the first place?

5- "he wants to end the war" and if you like this war to continue im going to assume you also like seeing tons of people die cause bush is tryna impress his daddy...

AND: He's not a liar.
He sees the middle road
On just about every importanat issue
That has been presented to him,
Which means he is the most apt
To do well in office.

Abortion, even though it is wrong,
Is a choice that should be made
By the mother and the father..
Not the President.

Think of how bad our Economy is thus far;
Now would you really want McCain to run
This country?
McCain fully supported Bush..
And look at how Bush turned out.

so in my closing conclusion: the country cant get much worse.. and its not even HIM who runs the country... its the CONGRESS... he just gets to live in a big pretty house... so shut up people...

<center><table border="0" style="border: 1px black solid; width: 90%"><tr><th><a href="http://www.corknut.org/toys/trickortreat/">My LiveJournal Trick-or-Treat Haul</a></th></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px black dotted">in_love_x33 goes trick-or-treating, dressed up as school girl.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/ancient_lies/">ancient_lies</a> gives you 12 brown lime-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/frenchaddict/">frenchaddict</a> gives you 3 yellow grape-flavoured pieces of bubblegum.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/hrtinablender86/">hrtinablender86</a> gives you 9 orange root beer-flavoured pieces of chewing gum.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/moonshadow_mist/">moonshadow_mist</a> gives you 5 white watermelon-flavoured wafers.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/shorty4273/">shorty4273</a> gives you 19 tan chocolate-flavoured pieces of taffy.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/starlit_picnic/">starlit_picnic</a> tricks you! You lose 18 pieces of candy!</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px orange solid"><a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/xxkrytoxx/">xxkrytoxx</a> gives you 14 yellow blueberry-flavoured jawbreakers.</td></tr><tr><td style="border-bottom: 1px black dotted">in_love_x33 ends up with 44 pieces of candy.</td></tr><form action="http://www.corknut.org/toys/trickortreat/index.cgi" method="post"><tr><td style="text-align: center">Go trick-or-treating! Username: <input type="text" name="username" size="10"><input type="submit" value="Let's Go!"></td></tr></form><tr><td style="font-size: xx-small; text-align: center">Another fun meme brought to you by <a href="http://www.livejournal.com/users/rfreebern/"><b>rfreebern</b></a>.</td></tr></table></center><br><br> THX MEGGO, you gave me the only thing i like on here... haha

I am still not used to having our own apartment... i love it, but its like, well... i can do what i want-when i want... and I love it... wow...

and before, with the ex... i moved out after like 3 months... weve been here for about... 6... and i have NO thought of leaving... im happy

i just love it... the end

SERIOUSLY, don't call me into the bathrooms, tell me your not mad at me, and your not gonna yell, BUT.. this and that and this needs to get fixed. (well, no shit, talk to my supervisor) so i looked at him and said, well i asked my supervisor, and he told me to power wash the bathrooms myself, and the floor is sticky cause he told me to bleach the floors when i said i couldn't power wash them myself. don't try to talk to me like a little kid. I know why the bathrooms look like shit, talk to my "supervisor" who supervises his ass.

kthx

ALF... the coolest show ever when i was little... wow... that would be great... >_>

this is the letter Michael wrote to Jeremy to get him to stop harrasing me, he was seriously calling me, texting me and just bothering me every 10 minutes... and i was with michael, and Michael got annoyed with this...

This is Mike Jeremy if you keep this up its going to end where you can't
even socialize with Steph.. There will be a restraining order placed for your
safety, because this isn't worth me going to jail... I'd hate to hurt
Christopher that way taking away both his dads, but if it comes to using a
restraining to cut the communication, which  absoluty has nothing to do with
Christopher then  so be it, your mother and Heather take better care of
Christopher anyways, your to busy paying some chick's bills, you have a
decent paying job and your always broke.... with what bills? Going out to kfc...
could be better used on Christopher, oh wait I take care of him anways so your
not needed...

I'm pretty sure even Steph would agree with on this, you could shove the
child support and just let her full custody... Your Worthless..... She's not
giving you a chance your not worth her time of day...

We are getting married and we are going to have children together.. We have
neames picked out already if its a girl its going to be Madison or Rosemary if
its a boy Tyler or Michael..

She's going to get her ged she's going to get her license she's
doesn't need this bullshit drama, we don't need this drama. She's
going to have a career, life and she's going to be FUCKING happy without you
in it... Get over it... MOVE THE FUCK ON!!!!

Your a liar and a loser, you've been caught its over, stop the drama your
hurting your son, if you cared and truly loved Steph and Christopher you would
move on, but Jeremy maybe you should see a psychiatrist and get your head
checked, because changing means changing....

Doing the same shit that you've done for the past 3 or 4 years or whatever
to get to Steph isn't changing....

Being a baby that losts it bottle and crying for a chance.... How much of a man
are you, the word sorry I've bet you've used that a thousand times to
her, what meaning does it have now... The word love... do you even know the
definition...

It sure as hell isn't hitting, abusing, forcing them to have sex when they
don't want it.. It's not risking your unborn son's life by pushing..

Its not neglecting her emotions, her needs, love is about sacrifice, something
that isn't learned or taught its something you do..

Its something thats intiatilly there its not oh WOW.. im going to change after
doing all this shit to someone... Jeremy that just doesn't work.. You
don't understand love, you just understand a wet penis..

Steph's better then you, and if you continue on with your freaking
harassment you will end up in jail, I won't deal with this crap no one needs
it.. She's stressed from school and everything else and doesn't need
your dumbass causing more..

Your the defective dna that Christopher unfortunately recieved, wish he could
of done of better with his father, but hey what can be changed... At least he is
turning out good, can't say the same for you.. Looks like the best part of
you ran down your mother's leg?.....

If this doesn't stop our communication to Steph will be cut... If i even
hear the word if you trying to hook up with her or get her back, im not going to
hold strings I've held my temper for far to long and been way to nice
something that is characteristic of me...
You are Christopher's father only reason I put up with this bullshit... Buy
a fucking blow up doll if your that horny.. get over her she isn't going
back to you its over.. We'll invite to the wedding if you want??

I have to lose 60 lbs in... 332 days... so its like... i have to shed off this weight somehow... and bulemia and i don't mix... so i am on a super strict diet... cause were goin to Disney world in June... and i don't wanna look like a beached whale when i get there...

i need to loose like...a shit load of weight, and KEEP it off, cause were gettin married dec 09 and i wanna be skinny for that too... UGH!!

I would ask Heath Ledger if he was just that stupid, or if it was on purpose... cause... i was a fan of his, and than he died...

but... i wouldnt do him a question... sorry

http://community.livejournal.com/foragoodworld/

I looked at this site, Meggie posted about it... check it out...

im goin on LJ Strike... i dont normally even go ON it anymore...

but... i wont this day at all